We’ve got a couple of meat-free substitutes to review this week: Cheatin’ Pepperoni Style Slices and GranoVita Meat-Free Pepperoni. I’m in a bit of a unique position compared to many vegetarians because of the fact that I’ve never eaten either of those foods in their true form, which makes it a bit interesting when it comes to reviewing them.
Let’s tackle the pepperoni first. We tried these on their own as well as in burgers and I have to say I’m not 100% a fan. They are much larger than the Quorn pepperoni that we usually eat, and quite a lot spicier too. They also have a chewier texture. On this one, I just prefer the Quorn version that we already eat, so it’s unlikely I would buy these again.
Next up is the pepperoni in stick form. Boy, was this a new one for me. I have never even understood what a pepperami is – isn’t it just a thin sausage? – and I was always more than a little grossed out by the famous advertising. The dancing pepperami guy was awful to me because not only were they giving more human characteristics to something that would be eaten, but it was already a living thing anyway. I never found it funny.
Anyway, on to the actual review! I have to say they were, well, distinctly underwhelming. The flavour is somewhat smoky, I will admit, but it’s really tough to chew and I didn’t enjoy that aspect at all. They’re just like hard rods of protein that aren’t very enjoyable either in texture or flavour. Even when chewed, the texture was somewhat rubbery on the inside. If this is what real pepperoni is like, then I honestly don’t see the appeal at all. And if this is not what they are like, then I don’t get why GranoVita would produce such a horrible product. Colour me confused, basically.